Dinner in Madras
As the Ellipsoids arrive in the salon, Lord and Lady Oglethorpe enter from a different door. Collins remarks that their timing is indeed impeccable, and introduces the trio. Lady Oglethorpe is fluent in English, although she does have a slight Italian accent. Her husband, obviously much older, is one of those large, beefy, red-faced Englishmen.
No sooner have the introductions finished than Mrs. Collins enters the room. She looks kind and matronly, and is trailed by a small, ornamental dog.
Lady Oglethorpe favours both His Honour and Shirley with warm, flirtatious smiles.
Shirley bows first to his hostess Mrs. Collins, next to Lady Oglethorpe, murmuring the appropriate greetings and compliments. Between the two salutations there is not one jot of difference. He waits for the ladies and His Honour to give the appropriate cues for seating arrangements — devoutly hoping there will be someone between him and the alarming Lady Oglethorpe.
Margaret greets Mrs. Collins and the Oglethorpes with warm graciousness. She is almost a different person than the relaxed, informal companion that Shirley and Esperanza are accustomed to seeing. She had a formal Coming Out and a Season in London, and suddenly they can see the Lady whose social position assured her of those privileges. She allows the Judge to seat her to his right, nodding to Esperanza to take the seat beside her. Then she looks at Shirley, realizing that this sort of formal dinner is probably not something he is very familiar with. She looks at him, then briefly at Mrs. Collins, then at the chair beside Mrs. Collins. He is very quick; she trusts him to catch the cue and seat his hostess, then take a seat to her right.
Shirley does as instructed, mentally berating himself for not realizing that he, not Lord Oglethorpe, is guest of honour. Not the position he generally finds himself in; he admits to himself as he pulls out his own chair that he will need to become accustomed to it. He expected notoriety as a result of the Ellipse, but not so soon and not so much. Esperanza remains silent, following Margaret’s cues and imitating her manner as much as possible. She has absolutely no idea what to do and is trying very hard to remain calm and alert. This time it’s Margaret’s turn to be grateful that Esperanza looks young enough that she will not be expected to participate in the conversation. She resolves mentally to pick up a book on etiquette for young ladies when they visit the bookseller’s.
As soon as everyone is seated, Lady Oglethorpe favours Shirley with another warm smile and asks, “Mr. Addam, please do tell us of your impressions of Madras.” Shirley finds himself at the center of attention, except for Esperanza, who is desperately contemplating the flatware, studying the complex arrangement as if it were the Rosetta stone. Margaret catches her eye, then takes her napkin and spreads it carefully across her lap. Esperanza precisely imitates Margaret’s move, as if it is the opening sally in a chess game.
“Quite favorable, to be sure,” Shirley answers coolly. “I only got a glimpse of the bazaar on the way to Government House, but I found the variety and excellence of available goods most wonderful.
“And of course,” he adds, turning toward his host and hostess, “I have nothing but praise for the welcome I have found here.” He at first intended to say ‘my companions and I,’ but Esperanza’s confusion spurs him to keep attention away from her as best he can. “May I ask how long you have lived in Madras, Mrs. Collins?”
Mrs. Collins defers to Lady Oglethorpe, who continues to smile warmly at Shirley. “We have been here for… oh… twelve years or so, now. This is William’s second term of service here. I have become quite fond of India, I must say.” She tosses her hair a bit, revealing a bit more decolletage in the process.
Mrs. Collins appears oblivious to the flirtation. “We have been here nearly five years, and Lady Fortuna has been most helpful to us in that time. I daresay there isn’t an English family in Madras that is unknown to her.”
Margaret isn’t oblivious. She is both bemused and amused. She glances at Esperanza, then picks up the correct spoon rather more slowly than her usual movements, although not enough to be obvious. She very carefully does *not* look directly at Shirley, for fear that they will both burst out laughing at the absurdity of the whole thing.
The soup is served. On first glance, it is a harmless consomme, but the steam arising from the bowl promises a bit of heat that has nothing to do with temperature. Margaret tastes carefully, then eats it with every evidence of ease and pleasure. Lady Oglethorpe delicately sips her soup, subtly licking her lips whenever Shirley glances her way.
Shirley tries to catch Esperanza’s eye before picking up the correct spoon. He is careful with his first taste of the soup, mindful of the reputation of Indian cookery. “Ah, indeed,” he says. “How large is the English community here?”
Esperanza is on the keen edge of awareness and follows Shirley’s example. She seems utterly unaffected by the bite of the consomme. It is pleasantly spicy to those accustomed to it, but perhaps a bit much for those new to the powerful spices of Anglo-Indian cuisine.
Mrs. Collins ponders for a moment. “I am not sure, but certainly several hundred, I should think. Fortuna?”
“Mmmmm…I believe you are correct. Of course, people are always coming and going–there’s a great deal of trade that passes through Madras. Generally, the state of one’s garden is a good indication of how long one has been in England. Those of us who are old hands generally have more elaborate and established plantings.”
Lord Oglethorpe speaks at last. “Not to mention the number of horses one has acquired. We’ve quite the stableful. Just acquired a lovely Arabian last year, name of Vajra. Four years old, and quite the goer. Sneaks sugar-lumps right out of the grooms’ pockets.”
As the soup course is cleared away, Shirley notices that Lady Oglethorpe is making smouldering eye contact with him. En garde, he thinks. If a stop is not put to this now, he will have no peace the entire meal.
Shirley meets the woman’s eyes full-on, as he cannot possibly avoid doing otherwise. Slowly and deliberately, he raises one eyebrow, lifts his lip slightly, and leans away, changing his entire aspect to one of well-bred protest of indecorous antics. He blinks several times to express civil disdain, and turns quite away. His gaze passes Margaret, and he gives her a tiny shrug. What can one do, faced with such behaviour? the movement says, as much to Lady Oglethorpe as to Margaret — or rather more.
Lady Oglethorpe knows a challenge when she sees one. She gives Shirley another warm smile, and turns her attention to the curried crab that comprises the “fish” course. Shirley breathes a tiny sigh of relief. At least the frightful woman can take a hint.
He starts on the crab slowly, so as to demonstrate the proper method of crab dismemberment for Esperanza. He does not bother to seek her attention; he knows she will be watching. Poor girl. She must feel terribly out of her element. Shirley had wondered, many days ago in Alexandria, why Margaret left her in the kitchen. If he had not had so many other things to think about that night, it would have bothered him. He understands now, though — it was kindness, not snobbery — and wishes he could spare her this ordeal, or magically send her the knowledge to manage it. Esperanza furtively watches Shirley’s crab
dismemberment technique. She is slow and methodical, but seems sufficiently familiar with crab anatomy to manage well enough to avoid notice. He finds a moment to smile at her — preferably when Lady Oglethorpe has her eye on him. Lady Oglethorpe notices and raises an eyebrow. Let her. Smiling at a travelling companion is well within the bounds of propriety. Shirley returns his eyes to his plate, however, lest Lady Oglethorpe take it into her mind to torment the girl. Esperanza is oblivious to this as she gives Shirley a tiny, relieved grin. And Margaret makes a point to smile at him fondly, also when Lady Oglethorpe is looking. No harm in letting her see which way the wind blows.
“Do you arrange the flower displays at Government House also, Mrs. Collins?” Shirley asks. “I am no expert, I fear, but I did see a general similarity of taste.”
“Why, yes, I do, with my daughter Elizabeth’s assistance. She is only thirteen, but I like to think that she has inherited my green fingers. She seems to have a gift with orchids; they flourish in her care.”
Ah, the doting mother. “A valuable gift indeed. Is Elizabeth your only child?”
“We are fortunate enough to have two other daughters–the eldest, Alexandra, was married last Season, and the youngest, Beatrice, is eleven.”
Lord Oglethorpe has engaged Judge Collins in a discussion of horses, mostly involving how to curb “impish” behaviour in one’s mount. It seems that Vajra has an unpleasant habit of trying to lose his rider mid-jump, “much to the groom’s dismay, poor lad. Of course, to add insult to injury, Vajra trotted right ’round and lifted the lad’s hat as well. Hah!”
“Oh, you must be so proud of them!” Margaret says to Mrs. Collins. “Where is Alexandra living now? Are you able to see her often?”
“She and her husband, Lord Rosebury, live in London now, so unfortunately, we will not be able to visit often, so long as we are in Madras. She is wonderful about writing letters, though; I hear from her at least twice a week.”
Shirley feels something rub against his leg as the entree of lamb roast and a variety of vegetable dishes are served. Lady Oglethorpe is faouring him yet again with one of her warm smiles. This is nothing less than war declared. Shirley has made his feelings known already. Now he must simply ignore her. He makes no further attempt to avoid her eyes, but his own pass her over as if she were no more than the crystal salt-cellar on the table. He favours Esperanza, Margaret, and Mrs. Collins equally with glances and nods, while he waits his chance to divert Lord Oglethorpe from his endless horse stories.
As for the touch on his leg — perhaps Mrs. Collins has forgot to lock up the cat. Shirley pays the animal no heed whatever. A small set of claws dig into Shirley’s leg insistently, just above the ankle. Mrs. Collins has indeed forgotten to shoo the cat out of the dining room. Shirley winces, and issues Lady Oglethorpe a silent apology.
Mrs. Collins notices Shirley’s apparent distress. “Are you well, Mr. Addam?”
He refrains from actually kicking the cat, but he nudges it as firmly as he can — in a direction away from Lady Oglethorpe; another such misunderstanding would be downright dangerous — without creating an incident. “Quite all right, thank you, Mrs. –”
Esperanza starts as the cat yowls from under the table and leaps into her lap, pausing there just long enough to pounce onto the table. A smoky grey ball of fur makes for the lamb roast.
Shirley quickly stands up to seize the cat before it can reach the roast or wreak havoc with the table decorations. “Aha!” he exclaims jovially, adjusting his hold on the animal to a more natural position. “This, then, is the culprit! Judge Collins, I must institute a proceeding in your court against this malefactor here in my hands. The charge is assault, and the evidence is written on my person.” He checks the roast for damages. “One might add a charge of attempted robbery as well. Very serious matter, indeed. Where shall we incarcerate the accused while we await trial?”
Margaret is laughing so hard she has recourse to her handkerchief. Ladylike or not, she can’t help it. Esperanza is trying so hard not to laugh that she is very nearly in danger of rupturing something. Mrs. Collins and Lord Oglethorpe stare, mutely appalled at the feline disruption, while Lady Oglethorpe seems to
have been seized by a “coughing” fit that brings tears to her eyes. Only Judge Collins manages to stop laughing long enough to reply. “An excellent bit of police work, Officer Addam; you seem to have a gift for it! The court finds the culprit guilty of assault, attempted robbery, and malicious mischief besides. The penalty is exile, to be executed immediately.” His Honour stands and walks over to Shirley. “Will you remand the culprit to the court’s custody, sir?”
“Certainly, Your Honour,” says Shirley, carefully handing the struggling animal over. “Have a care, sir; I believe the defendant not wholly resigned to fate.”
“This offender is well known to the court, Mr. Addam. She is utterly without remorse, and dedicated to a life of misdeeds. If you will excuse me for a moment.” He exits the dining room, with the offender
firmly held in one arm. The cat — just out of kittenhood, really — gives a piteous yowl.
“Oh, dear,” says Shirley. “We shall have to consider time off for penitence.”
Margaret manages to get a few words out through her giggles. “I trust the court will take account of the youth of the offender? A pity it was not possible to dis-arm the miscreant prior to sentencing, but there it is.”
His Honour pauses at the door, and says over his shoulder, “I am afraid that this apparently remorseful miscreant has a history of taking advantage of the court’s clemency. No quarter can be given.”
“Indeed,” says Lady Oglethorpe, wiping her eyes, and giving both Margaret and Shirley a warm, open smile that is utterly unlike her previous expression. She leans towards Esperanza and Margaret and murmurs something in Italian, which causes Esperanza to stare for a moment, then burst into a “coughing” fit.
Aside, Margaret murmurs to Esperanza in Arabic “Thank heavens for the cat.” Esperanza’s face turns quite red, before she manages
to get her “cough” under control. When she is back in control, Margaret says to her very softly, “Do remember and translate for me after dinner, will you please?” Esperanza nods, wiping her eyes.
Shirley straightens the tablecloth, disarranged by the cat’s passage, before resuming his seat. “I do most sincerely apologize, Mrs. Collins,” he says to that worthy lady. “I daresay I must have irritated the poor beast, to cause it to behave so. I assure you I intended no harm.”
“Mr. Addam, it is I who should apologize; I am certain that the incident was none of your doing. Bottle of Smoke is a most… excitable feline.”
“Well, no harm done, to me, the cat, or the roast. Esperanza?”
“I believe I have recovered, thank you,” she replies in Spanish edged by giggles.
Lady Oglethorpe’s eyebrows go up at that, but she says nothing and takes a sip of her wine. “I say, Mr. Addam, that was a splendid capture. Have you cats of your own?”
“No, I fear not, though my landlady in York has a moggie who has done me rather more significant damage with rather less provocation.”
“Treacherous creatures, cats,” opines Lord Oglethorpe. “Too clever for their own good.”
Margaret appears to be holding her breath, but keeps her eyes carefully on her plate. If she looks across the table at either Shirley or Lady Oglethorpe, she will either burst into inexplicable laughter or say something utterly unforgivable. Esperanza whispers to Margaret in Spanish “Do you suppose we could get one?”
“When we return to London? I don’t see a problem with that.”
Shirley narrowly avoids choking, considering Lord Oglethorpe has just described his wife to a nicety. For the first time, he begins to feel sorry for her.
When the judge returns to his place, Shirley moves to forestall yet more horse stories from Lord Oglethorpe. “The ladies will have to forgive me for talking shop, but I am eager to know, Judge Collins: aside from feline offenders, what sorts of cases come up in court here?”
The judge ponders for a moment. “Much the same as you would see in York, I expect. There has been some anti-British activity lately — mostly peaceful, mind you — but occasionally it erupts into a riot. Then we see the usual assault, looting, that sort of thing. Unpleasant business, Mr. Addam.”
“Yes, indeed,” Shirley answers with a slight cough, remembering the Malta docks. “This will seem an odd question, no doubt, but I have reason for asking: have any Englishmen been implicated in the recent anti-British unrest?”
“Not to my knowledge, Mr. Addam. I shouldn’t be surprised if there were some Russians involved, however. They’ve had an eye on India since Catherine II’s reign, and their recent gains in the lands to the north have made them bold, indeed.”
“Quite. I wonder what our fellow competitor from the northern kingdoms — Jhalwar, isn’t it? — would have to say on the subject.”
“The Singh family have been some of Her Majesty’s staunchest supporters. From what one hears about the Russian methods of conquest, I hardly expect that Her Majesty’s subjects in Jhalwar would prefer the Tsar’s rule.”
“Mm. I admit not having paid close attention to Russian incursions. One does wonder, though, whether the Ellipse might have been an excuse to send a dozen or so sharp English minds through Russia to draw their own conclusions.”
“Interesting” Margaret says. “And other Europeans? Prussians, or the like?”
“Germans,” sniffs Oglethorpe “Too busy in Africa, I daresay.”
Lady Oglethorpe smiles tolerantly at her husband. “Certainly, you have more of an opportunity to speak to the ordinary people than we established sort often do. As much as one may enjoy European society, we do tend to be rather insular. But enough of politics; it is bad for the digestion.”
“I knew I should regret bringing it up,” says Shirley cheerfully.
“Perhaps you should choose our next topic, Lady Oglethorpe.”
“I must confess that I should very much like to hear your impressions — both you and Doctor Byrd — of the Grand Ellipse, so far. Lady Anastasia kindly gave me her impressions not so long ago, and I think it should be interesting to compare.”
“Impressions?” Margaret repeats. “Mostly that the world is a more varied place than even I had realized, and yet that taken individually, people are much the same, advantages of race and education aside.” Shirley taps his knuckles softly on the table by way of applause. “Look at the items to be found in the bazaars,” Margaret continues; “they may be primitive, but they can scarcely be called simple for all that, and some are quite ingenious.
“As for individual stops on the Ellipse, Gibraltar gave me a delightful reception; one I recall all the more fondly because Colonel Barstow recommended Esperanza to me as a companion there. We saw very little of Malta, as our ship docked only long enough to permit me to sign the register and collect my token, although we did see some rather odd protesters. They were marching for worker’s rights, but their signs were in English. I did not have opportunity to inquire into their provenence, and they gave us no direct trouble. In Alexandria, our reception was also quite wonderful, although we did have a bit of an interesting encounter in the bazaar with a local woman whom I suspect is given to delusions.”
“That was in Bahrain, Doctor.”
“Oh, yes indeed.” Margaret blushes a little. “Thank you, Mr. Addam. I confess individual events are beginning to become a bit of a blur.” She collects her thoughts and continues. “I would have dearly liked the opportunity to view some of the local antiquities there, but the Ellipse is a race, after all, and it does not behoove one to tarry overmuch. The journey between Alexandria and Bahrain was truly fascinating, especially watching Egypt unfold along the banks of the Nile and the Red Sea. I do adore shipboard travel, so I quite enjoyed the voyage across to India, and the sights of India were quite fascinating as well. So many languages and colours and costumes, I have been quite dazzled! I must confess, though, that it is very good to spend an evening in a place that is not moving, and present company is a most delightful reason to have stopped.”
“Hear, hear,” Shirley agrees. “Now, I have no notion what I can possibly add to the doctor’s words that will not transform them into a penny-dreadful, so I had better just hold my peace, I think.”
Margaret smiles at him — a very warm, very open smile.
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